is that girl still there?

Jan 30

Written By Teri Rippeto

I sometimes forget

that I was created for joy

my mind too busy

my heart too heavy

for me to remember

that I have been

called to dance

the sacred dance of life.

I was created to smile

to love

to be lifted up

and to lift others up

O sacred one

untangle my feet

from all that ensnares

Free my soul

that we might

Dance

and that our dancing

might be contagious.

-Hafiz

After a long conversation with a friend as I sat in the winter sunshine, I am filled with joy. A natural, easy friendship and connection that has spanned nearly our entire lives. Today, laughing and planning and even tears at our reflections at a life that goes by so fast.

Have we done everything we wanted to do?

I look at pictures of myself of over 32 years ago and ask that girl, “is there anything you were dreaming of that I have not yet done?” I look at her face and tears fall down my cheeks. Cry at her beauty, her big brown eyes and smile. A time before ANY of life has really happened for her. It is still the beginning, at 29…a face wide open with hope and possibility.

Time goes by so fast.

Blink and here I am at 61. No longer in the beginning, today, we laughed at our joke of being on the downhill side. A lifetime has passed and my eyes are no longer so wide open.

My dearest and oldest friend touches that 28-year-old girl in me, even now. She simply sees her and reminds me that she is still there… she is still beautiful and she shines a bright light in the world wherever she goes.

My friend sees only the best of me.

Why is it that we do not see that in ourselves?

Always I’ve asked and continue to ask, what is my purpose. Now, in this next chapter of my life, what is my purpose?

Through the words of my friend, through my own writing, my reading, the answer keeps presenting itself in subtle ways. Looking back through photos and time, at my life, so full. We all live such big lives that we cannot possibly grasp them at the moment we reside in. We are quite naturally caught up in the living of this moment. It’s only upon reflection, I think, that I can grasp the magnitude that is my life.

I look at those pictures with a sense of wonder at my own beauty and my own courage.